OFFICIAL BEND INAP NICKNAME : ON SALE!

"We announce that our assigned nicknames re now under the umbrella of the International Nickname Assignment Program, or, INAP. I personally have been nicknaming people from all over the world for almost 20 years. ALL nickname are guaranteed to be unique to the purchaser. There are NO two alike. Never has been, never will.

And now, for only $8.06 (on sale), INAP will anoint you with a personalized, custom moniker.

Your new INAP assigned nickname (on sale) will be yours and yours alone for the duration of your natural life. You may use it in any way you see fit.

Every nickname will receive a Certificate of Authenticity (suitable for framing) along with your purchase (which is one sale). Signed and notarized. See example.

Thank you, I hope to name you soon.

— INAP CEO, Andy “Salty” Jenkins

Please note: your INAP nickname works right along side of any nickname you currently answer to.

Also note: your INAP certificate does not work as official identification at the DMV, liquor store, or airport.